Panic Attacks and Depersonalization/Derealization

My first "official" post.  I hope to do one or two of these a week.

Panic attacks. --- An unfortunate event that can make someone feel like they're dying.  Your heart races, you're sweating, hyperventilating, you feel like everything is closing in around you.  There is a difference between just having panic attacks, and having a panic disorder.  Generally, if you change your behavior specifically because of the panic attacks, it becomes a panic disorder.  (For example, avoiding a certain place because you once had a panic attack there.)  As far as I know, I don't suffer from panic disorder, but I do suffer from panic attacks.

My earliest memorie of having a panic attack was in elementary school.  The only problem was, I didn't know what it was, so I didn't know how to convey what was happening.  In addition, I suffer from something else that comes with my panic attacks.  When I experience panic attacks, I also experience a sense of distorted reality.  I feel disconnected from my body, from my surroundings, from reality.  I feel like I am floating above my body watching myself.  I can't tell what is real and I can't seem to get a grasp on reality.  It has always been incredibly hard to describe and I didn't even know there was a name for it until recently.  This is called depersonalization/derealization.  I remember experiencing this was I was younger, and even though I didn't know what was happening, I knew that getting out of the room I was in for a few minutes seemed to help a little bit.  So every time these feelings came on, I would ask to go to the bathroom.  Of course eventually, my teachers began asking if I was okay.  I didn't even know what to say.  The only thing I could think of to describe what I was feeling was that "my depression was taking over and I just needed to get out of the room for a few minutes."  They were generally understanding after that and left me alone.

The physical symptoms of a panic attack, I can manage.  What becomes terrifying for me, is the distorted reality and disconnected feeling.  It's so hard to deal with and come of out.  How do I get myself back to reality?  I have some general breathing exercises I rely on to get me through anxiety in general, which can also be helpful during panic attacks.  Cool, fresh air can also be very helpful.  If I'm at home, taking a shower can help bring me back to reality, at the very least, running my hands under cold water.  I've also discovered texting someone and trying to "connect" to someone can help too.  I've never really discovered what triggers my attacks most of the time.  Being around a large number of people can trigger my anxiety and result in triggering a panic attack.  Oddly enough, I've also discovered that getting a "deja vu" feeling also triggers a panic attack.  For most of my life, my panic attacks seemed to come in cycles.  They would be really bad for a couple of weeks, and then I wouldn't have any at all for a month of two.  They've slowly become more and more frequent and severe though.  They can make stressful situations worse.  They're terrifying, and not being able to control them, makes them even more so.

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/understanding-panic-attack-basics
http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/derealization
http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/distorted-reality
http://www.anxietycoach.com/depersonalization.html