It's time to be open about a part of me. While I really don't like labels, I identify with the LGBTQ community. It's something I discovered in my early twenties; I didn't exactly deny that part of me, but I didn't exactly acknowledge it either. Over the years it's become more evident that this is a part of me. I've shared this with one friend, and sort of talked about it with another, but that's it. Just like before when I didn't deny OR acknowledge it, now, I don't exactly hide it, but I'm not really open about it either.
I know this information will not go over well with some people in my life, especially family; but there have been so many inspiring people in my life, that I know will be supportive, that I feel like it's time to share. I know some of these people who will have a problem with it probably already suspect something, because they're the kind of people who believes that someone who stands up strongly for LGBTQ rights/someone who is an ally, IS someone in that community. Which, to be clear, I've always felt very strongly about being an ally, long before I discovered this about myself.
Like I said, I don't really like labels. I really believe that for most people, sexuality/attraction is more of a "spectrum". I don't think people are every really 100% one thing. People can be attracted to different people, in different ways, at different times. So I'm not exactly looking to put a label on myself, but I decided it was time to be open about it. So there ya go...
Sunday, June 30, 2019
Monday, June 17, 2019
Having A Voice For Mental Health
Unfortunately I have let this blog fall by the wayside, and it's time to change that. At my last therapy session, my therapist suggested that I find ways to use my voice to be an advocate for mental health, because it was something she could tell I was passionate about, which I am. This conversation came after I spent 10 minutes yelling and crying about a conversation with a very close friend who made a comment with the implication that people with mental health issues have control over their issues. I was freakin pissed and I was ranting about it to her. She also suggested that finding a way to have a voice and connect more with others will help me a lot with the intense feelings of loneliness in my life. She suggested keeping up with my blog here, and seeing if there's other opportunities. I was going to apply to be a Crisis Counselor for Crisis Text Line, and of course I was aware of the different situations that people would be dealing with that I would encounter and I felt like I would be okay. However, as I was actually applying and reading about the intensity of things, I'm not sure I'd really be able to handle it well right now. So for now, I'm just going to focus on my blog, and try to be more consistent with it. I also really want to focus on awareness and education in addition to just sharing my own experiences.
So today, I just want to share some things/comments I have come across about mental health that are are very much lacking education and awareness. Some of these comments have been said directly to me, others are things I've seen people within my Facebook feed post or comment about.
-This first one is from the conversation I mentioned earlier, and I plan to go over the issues brought up in this conversation more in depth in a future blog post, but until then: In a discussion about how people in the general medical fields and emergency respondents (EMT and police especially) need to be better trained to handle mental health situations, this friend indicated that training all them is a lot to ask. A little bit of back and forth later and the comment was made that individuals with heart conditions can't control their conditions, but someone with a mental health issue can. This was about mental health in general, but also self-inflicted situations such as self-harm and suicidal attempts. This is a very complicated situation and there's a lot to discuss with it, but the gist of it that I want to get across right now is that mental health illness/issues are not something someone can control.
This particular conversation really effected me, a big part was because of who it was that said it, but I have spent most of my life trying to understand what I experience and what goes on in my brain, and for the first 15-20+ years, I dealt with almost single person around me telling me it was my fault and in my control, and I believed it. It wasn't until the past 3-5 years that I have truly been able to accept that it is NOT my fault and that I could NOT control it. I really slid back to that "self" that truly believed it was my fault I still experience depression (and anxiety, ptsd, ocd, panic attacks, adhd etc etc). The thing is, at no point did I ever believe this about someone else, only myself. I could never break the stigmas about it for myself.
Now, for the rest of the things I've come across/heard (and will at some point go into more in depth) and unfortunately it's not just from one person, many of these came from more than 1 person alone. Again some of them we directed right at me, others were just posts or comments made from people:
-We are over medicating children, and adults, for things like depression, anxiety, add/adhd
-Be happy mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally; just get it together and be happy
-Events from your childhood are no reason for X, Y, and Z to happen, get over it (XYandZ meaning things like ptsd issues, panic attacks, anxiety, etc)
-Just take care of yourself and take a walk, you'll feel a lot better
-You don't need a doctor or pills, you just need fresh air and running shoes
-Shut up and do something about it
-There are so many people who have it way worse
-What do you have to be depressed about?
-Depression isn't real
-Depression is just being selfish
There's a lot more, but you get the point. Can you understand why these are problematic? Can you understand why these ARE NOT ACCURATE?! There needs to be a ridiculous amount of more education, awareness, and training! ER's need to be better trained, informed, and equipped to handle mental health situations, police officers need to be trained about the possible situations they may walk into and why they're different from other ordinary calls/situations they run into, teachers and other professionals in schools need to understand that a teenager likely ISN'T looking for attention, they're looking for help. Things need to change in this country. It starts with each and every one of us.
So today, I just want to share some things/comments I have come across about mental health that are are very much lacking education and awareness. Some of these comments have been said directly to me, others are things I've seen people within my Facebook feed post or comment about.
-This first one is from the conversation I mentioned earlier, and I plan to go over the issues brought up in this conversation more in depth in a future blog post, but until then: In a discussion about how people in the general medical fields and emergency respondents (EMT and police especially) need to be better trained to handle mental health situations, this friend indicated that training all them is a lot to ask. A little bit of back and forth later and the comment was made that individuals with heart conditions can't control their conditions, but someone with a mental health issue can. This was about mental health in general, but also self-inflicted situations such as self-harm and suicidal attempts. This is a very complicated situation and there's a lot to discuss with it, but the gist of it that I want to get across right now is that mental health illness/issues are not something someone can control.
This particular conversation really effected me, a big part was because of who it was that said it, but I have spent most of my life trying to understand what I experience and what goes on in my brain, and for the first 15-20+ years, I dealt with almost single person around me telling me it was my fault and in my control, and I believed it. It wasn't until the past 3-5 years that I have truly been able to accept that it is NOT my fault and that I could NOT control it. I really slid back to that "self" that truly believed it was my fault I still experience depression (and anxiety, ptsd, ocd, panic attacks, adhd etc etc). The thing is, at no point did I ever believe this about someone else, only myself. I could never break the stigmas about it for myself.
Now, for the rest of the things I've come across/heard (and will at some point go into more in depth) and unfortunately it's not just from one person, many of these came from more than 1 person alone. Again some of them we directed right at me, others were just posts or comments made from people:
-We are over medicating children, and adults, for things like depression, anxiety, add/adhd
-Be happy mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally; just get it together and be happy
-Events from your childhood are no reason for X, Y, and Z to happen, get over it (XYandZ meaning things like ptsd issues, panic attacks, anxiety, etc)
-Just take care of yourself and take a walk, you'll feel a lot better
-You don't need a doctor or pills, you just need fresh air and running shoes
-Shut up and do something about it
-There are so many people who have it way worse
-What do you have to be depressed about?
-Depression isn't real
-Depression is just being selfish
There's a lot more, but you get the point. Can you understand why these are problematic? Can you understand why these ARE NOT ACCURATE?! There needs to be a ridiculous amount of more education, awareness, and training! ER's need to be better trained, informed, and equipped to handle mental health situations, police officers need to be trained about the possible situations they may walk into and why they're different from other ordinary calls/situations they run into, teachers and other professionals in schools need to understand that a teenager likely ISN'T looking for attention, they're looking for help. Things need to change in this country. It starts with each and every one of us.
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