After falling into a deep, dark, awful hole of despair and depression, I'm trying to slowly get back on my feet again. The first step is trying to take better care of myself; this involves being in therapy again, seeing my psychiatrist as usual, going in for an overdue check up with my regular doctor (although I just switched doctors, so it's more of an initial "meet" appointment"), going to the dentist for the first time in years, etc. It's tiring, not to mention expensive. First, under my new insurance, my medicine is much more expensive than it was before. Second, because it's been so long since I've been to the dentist, I need some work done. I need to have some gum work done, which won't be too bad, approximately $150 after insurance. I also need my wisdom teeth removed, which should have been done a long time ago, because they're causing problems. The actual procedure is covered by insurance, but because I have a fairly low pain tolerance coupled with a severe anxiety of even being at the dentist, they're going to be me under, which isn't covered by insurance; so that's another $500. I also need Invisalign (the newish "adult" braces) but that's not covered at all and is about $4,000, so that is completely off the table. However, it looks like the medicine that my psychiatrist wanted to put on was approved with the new insurance! Hallelujah! It will help with the binge eating disorder, my lack of focus and concentration (which is either ADHD, or symptoms of my depression), and my lack of energy. It's a pretty strong stimulant, so I have to start with a three day supply, and then if things go well, my psychiatrist has to have her supervising physician send in the 30 day supply. I have to start on a low dosage because there's a chance it's going to mess with my anxiety, so cross your fingers that doesn't happen.
As I mentioned in my last post, I have officially started therapy again. My therapist and I were able to establish a timeline of some events that happened last fall and determined some events that she thinks triggered the onset of my depression coming back. This was made worse by a heavy work and school schedule that leaves me very little time for "me", so I haven't been doing anything that I used to do to help me relax and unwind and that made me feel good. I also haven't been sleeping well, and my energy levels are completely depleted by work and school. Essentially, I'm overwhelmed and I need a break. In that regard, hopefully things will be getting better soon. My "semester" ends on March 15th (one more week!) and then I have a 3 1/2 week break before my new semester starts, and within that break I will be going on vacation to visit my best friend for the first time in almost two years. Due to the timing of when classes are offered, my next semester that starts at the beginning of April will be a lighter load than this past semester has been. After that, the remaining three semesters will be pretty heavy as I finish up my degree, but it will be nice to a have a bit of a break before that. I'm really glad I made the transfer to this school last year because for the first time ever, it seems like the end is in sight. I should be done with my degree by June of next year. Woo hoo! They do hold a graduation ceremony in both Orlando and Minneapolis, but I won't be be able to afford to go to either :-( But who cares, at least I'll be done!
