RIP Chester Bennington

It's been a long time since I've written a blog post.  I keep thinking about writing one, and what I want to write about, but I ultimately don't write anything.  There has been a lot of things going on lately, a lot of things I've been feeling.  But this week, something awful happened.

This week, Chester Bennington from Linkin Park took his life.

I don't typically react to celebrity deaths, but I feel like I lost a close friend.  I was in TEARS after finding out.  Chester, and Linkin Park, got me through a lot of shit as a teenager.  Whenever I was in a dark hole, depressed, suicidal, or just upset in general, I would put on my headphones and blast Linkin Park.  For just a little while, I felt like someone understood, I felt like someone knew how I felt and that I wasn't alone.  I listened to them as I wrote angrily in my journal.  I listened to them as I sat in my closet crying all night.  I listened to them as I wrote more than one suicide note when I felt like I couldn't go on.  I listened to them as I hurt myself because it felt like the only way I could survive.

As I've gotten older, as I've worked more towards recovery and managing everything, I've listened to them, and some of my other "angsty" music (Staind, Sugarcult, The Used, etc etc etc) less and less because it starting to become really triggering, mostly just of all those memories.  About a month ago, I saw Linkin Park was going to be playing with Blink 182 in Hershey, so I asked for tickets for a friend and me to go as an early birthday present.  That concert was supposed to be next Sunday.

I am heartbroken.  I'm sad.  I'm angry.  But I can also relate, I've been in those places that are so bad it seems like ending your life is the only way out.  I've tried, twice.

For years, Chester, Mike, and the rest of Linkin Park got me through some of the hardest times.  I know I'm not the only one.  Chester was loved, and he is going to be missed so so much.  It's like a close friend is gone, and I keep crying over it.

Rest in Peace Chester.  We love you!  <3 <3 <3

Credit: Linkin Park